Shelley Stoehr's Author Newsletter

feeling your feelings

October 10, 2005

so here I am, due to have a baby any day now, my newest book out with publishers and me waiting to hear... and we have no money, and I’m in a constant fit of anxiety...

and I realize that although I haven’t cut myself in many years, it still is a part of me, and when I’m under this kind of strain, it pokes up in my head frequently. Only now, I can’t cut myself, for many reasons, the first being that my 4 year old daughter would freak out, because the slightest wound freaks her out, and when I cry that freaks her out... also, I have a strong feeling now that if I cut myself it would be much more serious, I mean, what flashes in my mind is slicing the radial artery lengthwise which is pretty much a death sentence. My husband would kill me (ha ha).

so I guess it’s always with you. what I have to be sure i always do is respect those feelings. sometimes i get caught up in how i think i should feel -- joy and happiness because i have a daughter and husband who love and support me, and i can walk three minutes and be on the beach, and i still love to write even though i had some bad years with it... and so i deny myself the feelings that are “bad”, wanting to die or hit someone or run away.

in my new book, Girl Broken, Jenna (the main char.) cuts herself, but it’s not an issue, because she has bigger problems, like a crystal meth addiction. I wonder how that will sit with people -- cutting as just part of her personality, not her main issue.

In GB, Jenna has to learn to feel ALL her feelings, and to respect the reality of her feelings. This has become a major theme in my life, something I personally struggle with. I thin it will come up in a different way in my next book, Let Her Cry.

Anyway, that’s where I’m at now. Just thought I’d share. Best to you all, and to feeling YOUR feelings.

-- Shelley Stoehr

Selected Works

Fiction
MG fiction: Izzy and bff Seven (whose name was supposed to have been “Steven”, but the “t” was left off his birth certificate) set out to rescue a dog, Bone, from its abusive owner. Although they fail repeatedly, they cannot stop trying – though Izzy wonders why not. What's so important that they have to risk "life and limb" to save this dog? But then Izzy learns a truth about Seven, a reality that is so horrible, she realizes it isn’t only Bone who needs saving – it is Seven.
Young Adult Fiction
A dangerous secret… Sixteen-year-old Kyra is odd. She can “mind-speak” with her adoptive father. She has no recollection of anything about her life before age ten. One leg is so badly damaged she has to walk with a brace. And all she wants in her junior year of high school is to be cool. Instead, she becomes a werewolf… Suddenly, a madman is hunting Kyra with plans to use her as his lab rat. A big grey werewolf is killing humans in her town. And worse, her adoptive father might be dating her biological mother. Torn among allegiances to her father, her newly discovered family, and the werewolf pack, Kyra must learn to control the beast within and find a way to stop the madman who threatens to destroy them all. A horrifying act… Selene is a beautiful, tough punk-rocker leader of the meanest gang in school—and a werewolf through and through. She is on the top of the world and plans to stay there. Then Selene kills a human and unleashes a murderous rage that threatens to turn her into a mindless, violent beast. Terrified of what she might become, Selene runs away. Now, far from home in the company of killer werewolves, Selene must run again. She must find a way to regain her humanity. And she must do it quickly, because someone is following her…
Nancy and Katie are best friends with one big thing in common -- they both cut themselves, “Not by accident, we do it purposely -- and regularly -- because physical pain is comforting, and because now it has become a habit.”
When sixteen-year-old Tracey runs away she finds that making ends meet in New York City for a young girl with few real skills is nearly impossible.
“I’ve discovered that if you wear a big enough hat, no one worries much about what’s going on inside your head,” says Cary. And no one, not even her boyfriend, Danny, knows about the things inside Cary’s head. Especially the feelings she has for Wendy, a girl with bright green hair and hard-candy sadness in her eyes.

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